They call it 'Social Care' but, for millions of us, it’s just life. Every year, unpaid carers in the UK save the government £184.3 billion. To put that in perspective, that is the almost the entire annual budget of the NHS. We are the fourth emergency service: 24/7 work, no holidays, no pension plan and certainly no retirement. Yet, despite propping up the state, we are treated like a national liability rather than its greatest asset.
I am a single mother, a former business owner who once won local government contracts, and a carer for my son. When my son - who has survived strokes, epilepsy, and osteoporosis - was old enough to go to college, I went to the Jobcentre for support to become self-employed again. The advisor looked at my history and asked: "Why would you want to work when the government isn't focused on carers?". Then she refused to continue the conversation.
That is the 'pity party' in action. It’s a rigged system designed to keep us stuck. I’m not here to ask for charity; I’m here to demand a seat at a table that we are currently paying for with our own lives.
The Only Sector with Child Labour and No Retirement
This is the only 'industry' in the world where the work starts in the playground and doesn't end until the grave. While we rightly condemn 'illegal child labour' abroad, the UK relies on children as young as five acting as mini-nurses and primary carers. At the other end of the scale, we have 90-year-olds who have 'retired' from their careers only to start a 24/7 shift lifting and feeding a partner because the state has failed them.
There is no gold watch for a carer. There is no pension pot for the decades spent saving the state billions. By the time a lifelong carer reaches old age, they aren't just physically exhausted; they are financially hollowed out. When politicians talk about "extending the working life," they ignore the fact that, for millions of us, the shift never ends.
The Human Cost: Purpose, Hope, and Love
My dad always told me that we all need three things in life: a purpose, something to look forward to, and someone to love. The current system strips all three away. It isn't just the money the state steals from us; it’s our identities. When you become a carer, your world shrinks. You lose your job, you lose friends who don't get it, and you lose your mental health because the demands leave no room for anything else.
The system expects you to be a martyr, but martyrs eventually burn out. We aren't depressed because of our loved ones; we are depressed because the state has built a cage around us and called it a safety net.
The Myth of the Level Playing Field
We hear a lot about 'Equality of Opportunity', but it’s a lie. If you are born into wealth and privilege, you have a head start that no amount of intelligence can beat. Nepotism exists; we know it does.
For people like my son and me, the starting line is miles back. The system tries to label us as 'incapable' to justify keeping us on the sidelines. But I’ve always told my son: "You’re only sick when you’re in a hospital bed". Today, despite his health challenges, he is a qualified playworker with a job. He didn't get there because of the system; he got there because of a work ethic that the 'pity party' tried to kill.
The "Bridge to Nowhere" Section
The government keeps talking about a '10-year plan' to move care from hospitals into the community. But as a carer, I know the truth: Community Care is a ghost town because there is no social care to support it. They want to discharge patients to 'save beds,' but they are discharging them into the arms of the 184 Billion+ Club - unpaid, unsupported, and invisible.
Politicians go for the easy option; they talk about hospitals because they are visible, with big machines and photo-ops. But the real journey doesn't end in the ward; recovery happens at home. If the person at that bedside - the carer - is burnt out, broke, and ignored by the DWP, then that patient ends up back in A&E within a week. We are the bridge that keeps the NHS standing, yet we are the only part of the journey the government refuses to fund. You cannot move health into the community if you continue to treat the people in that community like a 'cost' to be managed rather than the foundation of the entire system.
The Radical Realist Solution: The Carer’s Wage
If the government is serious about growth, they need to look at the Scandinavian model. In countries like Denmark and Sweden, care isn't a benefit - it's an employed role. Local governments can formally employ a family member to provide care. This gives the carer a taxable wage, pension contributions, and legal working rights.
In the UK, we are trapped by the Carer's Allowance - a measly sum that comes with a cliff edge earnings cap. If you try to better yourself, the DWP threatens you with sanctions. We must scrap the allowance and replace it with a Professional Care Wage. This would instantly turn millions of 'dependents' into taxpayers and give the fourth emergency service the dignity of a contract.
A Challenge to the Mainstream
I started my podcasts, Stories, Labels and Misconceptions, and will soon start The 184 Billion+ Club, because I don't believe the government is our saviour. I believe we have to save ourselves. Carers are the most resourceful, resilient people in this country. We don't need advice from an advisor who has never skipped a meal to pay for a prescription. We need the structural barriers - the nepotism and the 'carer's trap' - to be torn down.
To the politicians and radicals who claim to want change: stop talking about us and start giving us a seat at the table. We are the experts. We are the 184 Billion+ Club. We have been propping up this country for decades - it’s time the country started paying its bill.
---
Velrita Barrett has been caring for her son for over 25 years and is passionate about creating opportunities for people to share their stories and experiences. Alongside
her son Andre, she runs PodAnime Studios, delivering podcast workshops that help young people build confidence, communication skills, and creativity. She is also co-host of the Stories, Labels and Misconceptions Podcast, which she hosts with an NHS Clinical Psychologist. They explore health inequalities, disability, wellbeing, and resilience through a combination of lived experience and professional insight.
All blog posts represent the views of the author alone and not necessarily those of Mainstream.
